Basic Shadow Spread - Tiny Tarot

Taken from Pinterest

Unfortunately I forgot to take pictures, but I used my Tiny Tarot Rider-Waite deck, and damn did it call me out.

1. What shadow behavior is preventing me from moving forward right now?
2. What work must I do to uncover and resolve that shadow behavior?
3. What parts of myself must I be prepared to face in this work?

1. 6 of Swords R - being stuck in the past
2. 5 of swords - realize limitations and move past fears and stop self-sabotage
3. 4 of swords R - recovery

1. I am stuck in the past. I have a lot of trauma that I've buried deep inside, and it's severely affecting my ability to function because of PTSD. 6 of Swords Reversed is about feeling trapped. According to The Tarot Guide, it can also represent slow healing. Overall, the shadow behavior of staying in the past is prevent me from moving forward.

2. According to The Tarot Guide, 5 of Swords represents self-sabotage and comes with a warning to beware of stress and bad situations. I have a huge problem with self-sabotage and this card was definitely a callout for that. I need to move past my fear of bad situations that can happen, stop self-sabotaging, and stop self-fulfilling prophecies.

3. The Tarot Guide says 4 of Swords Reversed is about celebrating recovery, finding mental strength, and healing. This was another big callout for me. Part of me is scared of recovery. What does it look like? Who am I when I'm not broken?

Overall this reading felt like a wake up call. One to remind me that being trapped in the past doesn't benefit me. That self-sabotage and self-fulfilling prophecies are a huge part of my mental block preventing me from recovering. And that recovery is possible. I might do another reading later to try to clarify what I need to do to get to that point. Right now, my plan is to continue studying the book "PTSDreams" and using dreamwork to help heal myself. I'm also in the process of trying to find a trauma therapist. I have a terrible habit of downplaying and invalidating my trauma. I act like it wasn't that bad and I need to just "get over it". I gaslight myself into thinking nothing bad has happened to me. But ignoring and hiding from the shadow parts of myself and my own trauma doesn't benefit me.,